By Definition

When can I call myself an illustrator?

I know I don’t need to wait until I’ve done the (un)necessary training, have a certificate, or passed a test.  So, must I have a pre-specified number of followers on Instagram?  Or an extensive online portfolio (which I’m sure is very helpful indeed, but I’m new here).

So, what if I don’t?

When two completely disconnected people* raised this question, it got me thinking.  I well and truly dread being asked what I do for a job, as mine isn’t a straightforward answer.  I feel I have to justify my own situation with an abridged version of my awkward journey through life and work so far.  Concluding with “but I want to be an illustrator”.  This alone isn’t self-explanatory.  And I feel I have to justify what I’m doing to get there (although I’m continually fighting self-doubt that I could ever be so lucky as to live the life I always dreamed of).

So, having given this some thought, I’m choosing to call myself an illustrator right now, despite not having much stuff “out there” to prove it.

[Audible intake of breath]

Well, where has being a hopeful illustrator gotten me so far?

If you’re also fed-up of self-doubt and the niggling, irritating voices that accompany this, try calling yourself an artist, illustrator, or whatever you hope to be, and listen to the new thoughts that start popping into your head.

*Hat’s off to Jessica Abel and my Canadian friend J for raising this.

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Sparks Don’t Fly

What do you do when you’re stuck on something?  Do you sit through it until you work your way to the other side?  Or, do you walk away and allow yourself to be distracted by something else?

Tasked with developing an inspiring 20-minute careers’ presentation for primary school children, I got a spark of an idea while brushing my teeth one morning before work.  Four days’ later my reluctant colleague and I delivered my idea seven times in one day, and it was a hit with both the children and their teachers.  Even my colleague was buzzing with energy by the time we returned to work at the end of the day.

I’m trying the same approach with a dormant creative project, but I’m lacking sparks.  I have some character ideas I’ve been working on and (mostly) off for a few years.  But I’m struggling to ‘see’ them.  I know them well enough to be able to describe them in words, but the images are harder to get down on paper.  I’m also struggling with story ideas, for them, and keep looking for distractions.  Not a great start for my first picture book project!

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The Measure of Measure

As I sat down to type this I felt the familiar guilt of having done NOTHING in my sketchbook since my last post two weeks’ ago.  “But you have!” my inner voice tells me. I’d forgotten I’d drawn some character sketches for my Craftsy Expressive Picture Book Characters course, trying to figure out how to make an animal look upset.  But I’ve been asleep a few times since then.  And I’m so used to berating myself for not doing any drawing, that I don’t make a point of revelling when I do.

And this doesn’t take into account other creative things I’ve been doing during the last two weeks.  Mr C and I have started to design our front garden, which is currently a 12x6m patch of gravel, with no foliage.  I’ve also started to adjust a worn-once dress so I’ll wear it more often, and had to create stuff for work.  And although I added a few doodles to my character design sketchbook, that’s not the point.

Creativity can manifest itself in many ways, through words, images, ideas, conversations, and clothes, for example.  So, we shouldn’t use just one method to measure our creativity by, if at all.  The quality of our creative journey is probably a far better indicator of the progress we’re making, than the number of steps (pages/projects) we’ve taken to get there.

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Looking Back

Looking back, I’ve learned a lot about my own creative habits since committing to entering this logo design competition.  Here’s a convenient summary of my thoughts so far…

Creative Freeze: Acknowledge your fear, and coax it forward, or it will hold you back.

Breathing Space: Give yourself and your creative project space to breathe from beginning to end.  You’ll learn to trust your own judgement rather than relying on the opinions of others.

Doodles Do: Dilute creative block by brainstorming your thoughts on paper, and nurturing them.  They’ll suffocate if they’re kept hidden away inside your head.

Pathfinder: Hesitate on a path of stepping stones and you risk losing your balance.  Keep a smooth, steady pace until you reach the other side, and only then pause for breath, reflect back and prepare for the next one

Fire-Walking: It takes courage to blaze a new trail, so it’s okay to hesitate a little (and you won’t burn your feet).  Enjoy the journey or you’ll miss part of the fun, and you’ll discover your destination when you finally get there.

If there’s one key thing I’ve taken away from this project, it’s the benefits of creative inertia.  It’s sooooo much easier to keep going when you’re already in motion, especially if you plan your next step before your current one is complete.  Although my drawing is faltering on a path of stepping stones, my sewing task list is shrinking nicely.

I’ve repaired and adjusted seven (yes, SEVEN!) garments in the past month (ready to wear after a year or two in limbo).  My target is no outstanding repairs or adjustments by the end of this year.  As I see them waiting in my wardrobe, I’m not afraid of them; I subconsciously ponder each task, and when one is finished I choose the next one.

Drawing is different.  I hesitate after each sketch, as though I’m drained of energy and I need to recharge before I think about what happens next.  There’s got to be another lesson in here somewhere…

While I think about that, I’m switching to fortnightly posts so I can spend some quality time with my sketchbook.  Have you found this series useful?  Please leave me a comment.

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Logo Logic: Fire Walking

When I embark on an art or design project, I always fluster.  Some of my ideas aren’t what you’d call mainstream and often have to be explained.  And that concerns me.

Take, for example, my diversity and inclusion logo design.  My first idea was a Venn diagram.  A bit boring, but no explanation needed.  Yet it just didn’t sit right with me.  I wanted to go with something a little less obvious.  And I did.

But with creative projects I feel I have to keep justifying my idea to myself, or explaining them to others.  At the moment I have limited faith (that comes from experience) but some of my ideas are just so far off the mark I end up on a completely different path to the one I should have been on (again, from experience).

Could I be a trailblazer, a brave pioneer of fresh new territory?  Or am I just lost?

A trailblazer is literally someone who makes marks along their trail so that others may follow behind.  They may not find the destination they were expecting, but if they hadn’t started their journey they would never have known.  I’ve begun to tell myself I’m blazing my own trail.  In time I hope someone feels curious enough to follow, find what I found, and discover where I’m headed next.

Lesson 5: It takes courage to blaze a new trail, so it’s okay to hesitate a little (and you won’t burn your feet).  Enjoy the journey or you’ll miss part of the fun, and take time to discover your destination when you finally get there.

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